Wil and I were together nine years before we got engaged. I used to think something was wrong with us because people always asked “when are you getting married?” “why isn’t there a ring yet?” “when’s the big day?” The more we got asked, the more I began to feel sad and angry because it made me think that there was an external expectation for our relationship that wasn’t being met. Society seems to place a looming pressure on people that if they’re not married, their love is incomplete.

Quite frankly, I never intended to get married. If I hadn’t been asked, I wouldn’t have pressed the issue. It has never been a priority of mine and I never thought of it as something that would make me feel complete. I’ve never dreamed of a fantasy wedding, the perfect dress, pretty invitations or changing my last name (which [shocker] I’m not doing).

I love the idea of building a life with someone, obviously, but the entire thought of a wedding seems so cliche and outdated to me. Its hard to explain. I love a good party, I love to be the center of such an event, so I don’t really know why I’m so blasé about it. I think that for so many people they just figure it’s something everyone does so they have to do it too.

Regardless, whatever a person decides to do is exactly what they should do. It took me a little while to eradicate the need to explain to others why I didn’t care about an engagement or why I don’t emphasize a wedding in the future. I’m most grateful for the time and effort we both have put forward. It isn’t always easy or glamorous but the real beauty of love is in the way it evolves each day.

Entering year eleven, I feel married already. When the papers do eventually get signed I think I’ll need a prenup because it’s something that you need to have. Or so I hear…